Women and Art
First time I’ve given up on art was when I started ‘counseling’ my dad on his trouble with women and art agents. His art business was declining. And he decided to be a guru, - and so there I was - a perfect student.
Invested in his teachings.
I bathed and lost myself in his light.
I was a good girl for my troublesome dad - justified the world of art to be useless and unsuccessful - a narcissistic addiction to self sabotage, self pity and disappointment.
He was a Parent preaching from above.
He lost it.
I saw it.
Second time I’ve given up on art for my husband.
I’ve taken a space, doing my work in a newly built studio, effortlessly creating beautiful paintings. I sensed his resentment. His envy.
I let him blossom by removing myself from art.
His blossom was a short-lived one. He doesn’t have persistency and ever-burning passion to pursue art. He gives up without validation, which for him means sales.
I served him by making a point to make money in my business.
I got obsessed with money. I learned how to be transactional, instead of artistic.
My vision of being a good girl looks like an obsessed self saboteur business woman.
My men had gifted me with my shadow - a Passionate Altruist.
In the moments of glory - accidental glory by the look of it - I had benefited enormously from living out that archetype.
I had made a lot of money and had lost it. My husband and my dad must be proud.
I think at the bottom of it is a fear of a woman artist.
A true power, a wild untamed, masterful use of sexual energy that is immensely attractive and giving.
My dad didn’t want to see me in my power - on stage, talking, he even made a paining with my mouth covered by a flower - a real call to shutting down my physical voice. A narcissist is threatened by power. To keep feeling superior he had to prove the fault with art.
My husband is deeply insecure when it comes to art and artists. His dad - a banker, divorced his mom, a concert pianist. His conflicted relationship with art reflects his mom and dad fight of two different psychologies, types and value systems. This is why he is up and down about art. He can’t pick just one parent to love. He loves them both.
A woman artist is a threat.
She is in danger because of that.
She takes attention away from a narcissist.
And she reminds a man, how he is not in control.
A narcissist wants attention on his terms - if they don’t feel perfect, they will deny access to themselves, isolate, rot away, alone but protected.
A conflicted mind projects double standards - expectations for a woman to be a saint as well as a slut. When it comes to a marriage - a man will prefer a saint, while admiring a slut in secrecy. At the end of the day - feeling confused and distorted is exactly the feeling he recreates since his parents divorce.
So coming out as an artist isn’t easy for a woman.
She faces a confrontation with her men.
She has to be ready to fight.
She is bitter with lost time.
She regrets her weakness.
How old she is now.
How little energy and stamina she has.
How dependent she became.
How she lost her money.
How she cut herself out of her source.
Her libido, her sexuality is non excitant.
She’s been sleep-walking through life.
Her relationships are formal.
She’s been withholding her love as a revenge on men and a warning to other women.
She is exhausted with fear.
All you see is an aging wannabe.
A struggling entrepreneur.
In the same boat with other women, fighting for attention.
A strange club with self-appointed gurus, businessmen in skirts, a sorry replicas of the men those women committed themselves to.
A sad picture. A sick, corrupted world. The shadow of what what their men would wanted them to do.
Being a narcissist or being entitled to an internal conflict - is an attribute of an artist, for sure.
But women refused to accept the shadow side of artistry.
They still ‘serving’ their men - by playing in the field of ‘compassion’ and ‘strategy’.
An artist doesn’t have compassion.
An artist cares for truth.
An artist is a wanderer.
An artist is led by God.
Libido, love, attraction flows freely, or doesn’t flow at all.
Trust in God is visible. It can’t be faked.
Most people will die and never experience their flow or their faith.
They might paint on a canvas or author a book, a take singing or dancing lessons.
They might pray, talk with their guides, play with their tarot cards, even livestream transmissions.
They might try to attempt to play in the realm of magic, title themselves Creatrix or a Goddess, but live without a flow, only believing in what they actually see with their eyes.
Any low of attraction circles or ayahuasca retreats they go to won’t guarantee them an artist flow.
It had been lost.
It had been sold out.
In order to keep a man.
In order to please a man.
In pursuit of happiness.
Not to be alone.
Not to be in pain.
To come back to your Artist now you will have to heal your wounds of attachment.
You must let go of co-dependency with your man.
God is my husband.
Art is my truth.
About Lira Kay
Lira Kay is a Transformational Artist, a Founder of Meaningful Trends Project and an LK Media Center.
She is a visionary creative producer and a world-leading expert on the collective consciousnesses.
She works with social archetypes, public figures, cultural role models, missionaries, artists, gurus and teachers.
She consults on original innovative personal development technologies and methods, and leads global public projects to bring people and communities healing, hope and transformation.
Lira has been called a secret weapon behind sanity and phenomenal success of many prominent social and creative enterprises and their CEOs.
She is an international speaker, a bestselling author and publisher.
You can learn more about her private work www.lirakay.com
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